Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Mr. Meaner's Crime Watch

Subjects are innocent until proven guilty, this is not a court of law.


A young woman popped but just couldn’t stop and was caught trying to smuggle two containers of Pringles out of Wal-Mart. The juvenile was stopped and detained by store security after exiting the shop with the contraband chips. The items were returned to the store and the juvenile was later released to her aunt, who was a little ruffled. (5/31/2011) 110015948


A police officer noticed a man walking in the middle of the road even though there was a perfectly good sidewalk for him to walk on. The officer gave the man a citation and found some marijuana on him and booked him on possession. What does he think this is a free country? (5/27/2011) 110015566


Ever heard of drive thru rage? A woman became furious after two young ladies took too long in a McDonalds drive thru, walked up to their vehicle and began a “verbal altercation.” When they asked her to return to her car, she tried to hit them through the windows. She then got a shovel out of her car and threw it at their bumper. When the ladies left the drive thru, they claimed the woman was still following them. We’d hate to see what she does if she doesn’t get a toy in her happy meal. (5/27/2011) 110015518


A man called police claiming there were black men on his porch wielding guns. When the cops arrived, the man confessed to hitting his wife several times, though his wife said she got some good shots in too. Considering she outweighed him by about 50 pounds, we believe her. Another man appeared and said, “Why’d you hit my sister? I’m going to kick your fucking ass.” When the officers tried to arrest him for fighting words, he ran into the couple’s house while his hefty sister barricaded herself in the doorway, allowing the man to escape out of the back of the house. Both the man and the woman were arrested, but here’s to hoping those crazy kids stay together. (5/26/2011) 110015392


A man was lying in bed when someone started shooting at his home. He was struck in the forehead by something, bullet or otherwise, and was transported to Richland Memorial Hospital. A witness said he saw a red compact car with the passenger side taped up fleeing towards Gervais Street after the shots were fired. So if you see a car like this, don’t lie down because they really hate that. Guns don’t kill people, it is the great access to bullets in America. (5/26/2011) 11001546


The custodian of Jehovah Baptist Church on Frye Road noticed that someone had stolen three air conditioning units worth $7,000 each and two copper lids worth $25 each from the side of a building owned by the church and called police. Looks like sinners won’t be the only ones burning up this week. (5/27/2011) 110015663

29205 A woman has accused a maintenance man of stealing her laptop, throwing the top of her blender on the floor and messing up her blinds while he was in her apartment painting over a patch in the wall. The woman noticed the misplaced blender top and blinds when she entered her apartment but did not notice anything missing and left. She returned later in the evening, noticed her laptop was missing and called the police.  We aren’t detectives, but don’t maintence men just use the front door when they steal shit?  (5/27/2011) 110015637

29205 A man started harassing a woman after she told him his ex-girlfriend wasn’t around. The woman told an officer that the man called her yelling and cursing after she told him the bad news, and kept calling even when she told him to stop. This asshole sounds like a real catch, wonder why they broke up. (5/27/2011) 110015603


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