Friday, May 7, 2010

Why hasn’t South Korea launched a war against North Korea?

DON'T PANIC By Andisheh Nouraee

You know, things aren’t like they were when I was coming up. People today are big babies.

Back in my day, we didn’t have peanut allergies. No siree ma’am. If you suffered anaphylactic shock after eating a peanut, it was cause you were a sissy.

And we didn’t have this “Internet” thing making everything so easy. If you wanted something, you had to work for it. You had to leave your house to steal music. You had to look a cashier in the eye when you purchased pornography. And you had to go to a library and hand copy text out of a book when you wanted to plagiarize.

And back in my day, people had principles and honor, too.

For example, when one country fired a shot at another country, the other country would shoot back. You didn’t question it. You just did it.

“Oh, a scruffy Serbian terrorist assassinates the Austrian crown prince? Well, then, we will plunge an entire continent into a war that leaves 16 million dead and ends in a stalemate that will resume 20 years later with an even bigger war that leaves 60 million dead. We will call them Worlds Wars I and II.”

With that in mind, you’ll understand why I’m so disgusted by South Korea’s wussified non-response to the recent torpedoing of its ROKS Cheonan warship.
On March 26, Cheonan was patrolling the Yellow Sea, one-mile from Baengyeong, a South Korean island just 10 miles from North Korea’s west coast. Baengyeong is near the so-called Northern Limit Line, the disputed sea boundary dividing South Korean and North Korean territorial waters. The line is an extension into the sea of the land border militarized land border dividing the two Korean states.

At 9:22 P.M. an explosion rocked the ship. Minutes later, the Cheonan’s captain contacted fleet command reporting the ship was under attack. By about 9:30, the ship was underwater. Thermal images published on a Korean-language news site depict the ship breaking in two. 46 sailors died, as did one of the divers looking for survivors.

Why did the Cheonan sink? South Korea’s forensic investigation determined the ship was hit by some sort of explosive from the exterior. Who would do such a thing?

Gee, I don’t know. My sources at the U.S. Department of the Blindingly Obvious suggest the sinking may be North Korea’s doing. The country’s navies have had at least four clashes near Baengyeong since 1999. Also, North Korea’s foreign policy in recent years consists largely of well-timed, dramatic explosions. In October 2007 and again in May 2009, North Korea detonated nuclear weapons. And it’s constantly testing ballistic missiles in the general direction of Japan and the U.S.’s Pacific coast.

North Korea, of course, denies it’s had anything at all to do with the incident. Its English language propaganda web site claims “puppet military warmongers, right-wing conservative politicians and the group of other traitors in south Korea are now foolishly seeking to link the accident with the north at any cost.”
But that’s not actually true. South Korean leaders have largely kept their bulgogi holes shut; mourning the loss, assuring the public that the responsible party will pay, but never actually naming North Korea.

Why is that? Well, maybe it’s because South Korean leaders have no principles and honor, like people used to back in my day. Back in my day, if a Commie Asian ship so much as pointed a shuffleboard cue at you (see Gulf of Tonkin incident of August 1964), the honorable reply was to start a massive war with well-over 1 million people dead (see Vietnam War).

Or maybe there’s a better explanation. Maybe South Korean and U.S. leaders are being patient. Despite their anger, it may just be that they realize there’s no point in starting a war with North Korea. Even if South Korea and the U.S. toppled the North Korean regime, the toppling would likely come after North Korean unloaded thousands of tons of conventional, chemical, biological and maybe nuclear weapons on South Korean cities, and probably Japan, too.

Sissy? Wise? Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.


  1. Since when was asserting precautions ever considered being a 'wussy' when engaging in war? Do you know how many people die as a result thats ultimately decided by a group of politicians that don't even participate in the physical war itself? Korea is a extremely conservative state with Honor as a value heavily embedded within its society. Thus, Korean men are required under conscription to participate in a war, whether they like or not. North Koreans are also subjugated to the dictator that has been molding this malignant image. Either way, millions will die just to bring down a single individual. You seriously have no idea how cocky you sound in the first couple of paragraphs and your last doesn't save it at all.

  2. You're about as ignorant as they come. I'm amazed that your brain actually has the capacity to tell your body to take in oxygen. Much wasted and perfectly good oxygen at that.