Dear United States,
We get it already. Half of you are incensed that thereâ€™s a man of African descent in the White House. Black Man in White House = Intergalactic Rise in Racist Hatred. Thus, youâ€™re opposed to your fellow citizen receiving basic medical coverage and youâ€™d like to see every non-Aryan in the world fry from a U.S. Marine flamethrower. (Go figure.)
So as long as weâ€™re already headed back in time to 1968, where supposedly itâ€™s once again vogue to take a gunpowder whip to politicians who donâ€™t align well with Nazi principles, letâ€™s travel back in time one century further to, say, 1860. U.S. Civil War, Part Deux, on!
While a good many progressive thinkers will take the ultimate fall on behalf of restoring sanity to the Union, at least a good bit of the Ã¼ber-fringe on the neo-con right will be eradicated from the planetâ€”as these morons will beg, borrow and steal for posts on the front line.
South Carolina, weâ€™re counting on you to take the lead. So draft those letters of secession! Rub the rust off the canons! And put all the Jared Lee Loughner's out there for us to see in broad daylight.
On the count of oneâ€¦twoâ€¦threeâ€¦BANG!
Columbia City Paper